Escape

Flee, run away, evade, get away, elude, avoid, escape all words that described how i am feeling right about now. I'm caught somewhere in between 10 and 20, the stage where you have freedom but not nearly as much as you want and it sucks big time. It's like i have so many responsibility's and no freedom. Every ones always saying do this and do that but nobody is every saying what do you want to do and the older i get the more i realize that Langston Hughes was right when he said "Life ain't no crystal stare".  As i grew up i knew not everything was going to be easy but i didn't think everything was going to be nearly as hard as it is. When your little you think that love will just find you and that you will be with that person for the rest of your life and you will live happily ever after. Well sorry to burst every ones bubble but that's not how it is at all love is complicated  and just when you think you've got it right something happens to make everything go all wrong again. Trust me i have the worst love life ever! I'm in a long distance relationship now with someone i have know since i was 8 and i thought that we were just prefect for each other and the more i think about it the more i am unsure. For starters he is totally opposite of me which isn't always a bad thing but i am the typical good girl and he the typical bad boy. Then after everyone told me that it would never work because of his past and all the criminal things he had done  he went and cheated on me. There's also a 2 year age difference and I'm older so sometimes i wish he was a little more mature. Also my parents hate him because he cheated and all the terrible rumours they have heard about him so i am never aloud to see him. Oh and to top everything off he has a court hearing in a couple of days, where he might get sent back to jail. But i love him and he said that he has changed from his criminal ways which i honestly thing he has but hey what do i know hes 30 mins away and i can't see him and i believed the last time that he said he changed so i guess will just have to wait and see what happens. Another thing that makes life difficult is getting a job. Everyone is always saying get a job so then you apply to every place in town and play the waiting game until someone hires you if they ever do. I tryed to get a job for the last six months now and had no luck until recently. I got a job at a local private business and thought of i can handle it... I so can't handle it. It is the worst job ever all my friends work at local fast food chains and I'm stuck cleaning a local business/house. I know your thinking how can that be so bad its such an easy job. My answer to that is yes the cleaning part of it is an easy job but dealing with my boss is the hard part. Where to start with my boss she's not mean and she doesn't over work me. Whats wrong with her is that she is CRAZY. For example today since she is elderly i thought that i would be accompanying her to church instead we got to her house/ business were i find out that she is a minster and it will be me and her today and she will be teaching me about god. So me trying to make the best of a situation sits down and is ready to learn. She starts talking about how Jesus can talk to you and how i should talk to him too. So she takes my hands and tells me to think of some things to pray for so i do an do and she says now your gonna start speaking tongues. She tells me that she was to me to start babbling like a baby as i think about the things i am praying for so i do and she yell look at you your speaking in tongues to the lord only you and the lord can understand what your talking about. So for the next 20 mins i sit there and say beep boop bo bo da da da bee bee bop bopo really fast over and over again as i think if things to pray for. Since i was so good at that she decides that she is gonna baptize me right then and there in here own home. She runs upstairs and starts preparing the bath tub. Next she hands me a shirt of hers to put on to get baptized in and mind you shes a plus size lady and I'm a size 2 so i was wearing her shirt as a dress with nothing on underneath. So she said some words and held my head under water and told me to get up and get redressed into my clothes and we went down stairs and she took me home. So having a job isn't easy what so ever and the whole time that all that stuff was happening i was crying and she thought it was because i experienced the holy ghost when in reality it was because i was scared. So Langston Hughes defiantly had it right when he said life ain't no crystal stare.