Don't ya just love love!

I am a lucky girl. Someday's  i don't appreciate my boy friend enough and i really should because he is an amazing man. For like the last week i felt we were just falling apart and that nothing was going right. But despite all of that he still hasn't given up on me and i love him for that. I know that we have been through hell and back and i bitch at him all the time but he really is an awesome guy and with all this fighting lately i can't even begin to remember the last time he really laughed until tonight. But when he did it was like i knew everything was going to be fine. It was like in that moment i knew that whatever made him fall in love with me might just still be there. Golly i sure hope it is because he is everything i could want and more (not to mention he's tall dark and hansom..really hansom). I'm sure everything's going to be okay and in the end it will all be worth the fight and struggles

Summer Fun is Drifting Away

My summer didn't go as i planned. I had a huge list of little things to before it ends. It was just a bunch of little silly things like have someone shut me up with a kiss and sleep over at someones house but i didn't get to do it so its kinda upsetting. I think that it's upsetting because when i started this summer i promised myself that my last summer as a child would  be the best one yet and now in the last couple of days i can barely manage to smile. Between my failing relationship, my grandpa being extremely sick and my big move. I just can't find the time to be happy. What doesn't help matters is that it seems like nobody cares about my problems and that nobody is trying to help me fix them. I just wish that there was one person who would listen to me cry and then help me dry my tears. But of course all i hear is why are you crying, crying gets you no where or get over it's not the worst thing in the world. Crying doesn't get you any where but who cares if i do it and it makes me feel better i don't see why you have to judge me for it, crying is one of my biggest stress relievers after i cry i don't feels so tense.  I just hope that in the next week and a half i take control of my summer and get it back i just wanna live for the moment, wake up happy and be care free because i know that moving is going to be so stressful. Not only am i moving away from my mom and younger siblings (Who i am very close with) but no my grandpas cancer has worsened i feel like i'm stuck between a  rock and a hard place on one hand i want to move and live my own life and be me but on the other hand i don't want to miss out of some of the last times i'm going to have with grandpa but i think i'm going to move because if i don't start my own adventures now i don't think i'll ever get to. I'm sure that my grandpa would want me to go and live life to the fullest so that's what i'm going to do.